“The burning prayer of hot desire, which is born on the lovers’ lips.” — Kristoffer Nyrop
Looking at my husband recently, I wondered to myself, when did we stop kissing — like REALLY kissing?
I’m not talking about a quick peck on the cheek or the obligatory hurried brush on the lips when rushing out the door, either.
I’m talking about the kind of kissing where both people physically connect through their lips and get that quiver of passion stirring up inside them.
I wanted that back. I wanted that kind of kissing back in my marriage.
At some point during our marriage, the genuinely passionate kissing part just slowly faded away. It became one of…
A mother’s plea.
I don’t need to be asked how I’m feeling right now.
I just need a bit of help.
I don’t need any complaining right now.
I just need this one thing.
I don’t need anything else.
Nothing at all.
Just do the f*cking dishes.
The dishes that have been sitting in the sink since last night.
The dishes no one else seems to see except for me.
The dishes ever no one wants to do — including me.
The dishes that don’t get done on their own.
This is an exhausted mother’s plea.
I don’t need anything else right now…
Some things just can’t be known.
In every relationship, there may be things we keep from our partners — whether it’s intentional or unintentional.
I believe this to not only be normal — but also to be an intriguing element of human nature.
To claim that your partner knows absolutely everything about you from head to toe or from your past before them would be quite a bold statement.
Although many of us pride ourselves on being honest, loyal, and true to our partners — it’s not realistic for a person to say they know all there is to know about their partner.
There are bound…
It was as simple as that.
Long-term relationships and marriages can feel like a never-ending maze full of quandaries, successes, and setbacks all at the same time. Just when you think you’ve conquered one relationship hurdle — another one pops up.
My husband and I have been wading through this long and redundant battle of never having enough time or energy to really focus our attention on one another because we barely even get enough time to ourselves.
I’ve written about the struggles and the resolutions. I’ve expressed my frustrations over our challenges and my hopes for the future of our partnership.
Recently, we hit a…
‘You don’t have to do anything — just lie there.’
It all started with an argument about the man I was dating.
My close friend — who had been one of my best friends during some of the most formative years of my life — was angry with me. Her hazel eyes were blazing with fury and her black hair was sticking to her wet cheeks from crying.
She had always been opinionated over the men that I chose to date and it was no secret to those who knew her that she herself was only into dating women.
She was several years older than me and had taken me…
He was dead serious.
I still have the image burned into my mind. My lover sitting beside my bed with my vibrator strategically placed on the table next to him.
“What is this?” He demanded, with all the accusatory tones of a person who had just discovered a horrific crime.
I stood there, stunned. Apparently, he had let himself into my apartment (I had given him a key) and somehow came across my vibrator.
It was definitely a weird and unexpected moment to walk in on after coming home from work, but it was also strangely amusing. …
And if so — is that wrong?
Many of us have heard the expression — ‘the one that got away’ — which refers to a past romantic love who may have been absolutely compatible in so many ways, yet still, somehow the relationship just didn’t work out.
It’s difficult not to pine for long-lost lovers who could have worked out for so many reasons but ultimately didn’t, whether it was due to life circumstances, personal choices, or other people who got in the way.
Thankfully, a great majority of us usually find a way to move on in one way or another and are able to create…
Enter America.
Growing up in Canada, I was an extremely shy girl.
I knew that I was pretty — or at the very least reasonably attractive — but I was insecure and I had a hard time opening up to new people.
This is not uncommon. Lots of people are shy.
Despite my self-esteem issues I made a decent amount of friends in my little Canadian high school and was even lucky enough to have some really close ones.
However, I never had a boyfriend. Not at all. Not one boy ever asked me out. (Of course, I didn’t ask any boys…
Wisdom can come at a steep price, sometimes.
Occasionally, my mind will wander to dark and negative spaces, thinking about how a significant chunk of my 20s was spent in a relationship with my abusive ex-husband.
All of those youthful years full of potential and promise where I could have been exploring the world and discovering new things…
Instead, I spent those years fighting with a raging drug addict who abused me mentally, physically, and emotionally.
What a waste, I think to myself, when I ponder it.
I could have spent my time back then with people who had their shit together and who might have treated me…
There is inevitably going to be some discomfort.
If you’re over the age of 35 and swimming through the dating scene, it can be so much more complex to navigate than dating in your 20s.
Actually, there are many reasons why dating after the age of 35 presents more dynamic challenges and it’s not just about gaps in the knowledge or use of dating apps.
By the time most people reach the age of 35, they’ve likely established some kind of significant life history.
Even if someone has lived a relatively uneventful life, it’s pretty hard to escape having had some kind of interaction by the time the…
Michelle Brown
Ponderings on life, love, sex, motherhood & stepmotherhood. Editor at Heart Affairs, Self, Inspired, I, Mother & I, Stepmother. More at www.theponderingnook.com
