My advice to any woman reading this…

I once wrote an article about my experience falling in love with a married man. It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s something I choose not to feel shame for anymore, especially after all these years.

However, along with that article came an outpouring of stories and experiences from other women about their own affairs with married men. The response was overwhelming.

The women who have reached out to me are not heartless women. These are women who are searching for solace and for closure.

So many women who have written to me asking for advice feel trapped in agony wondering how they got to this dark place and trying to figure out a way to extract themselves without causing or feeling even more pain than they already have. …

This is why sex can be terrifying.

Why are so many of us afraid of our own sex lives — our own sexuality?

And I don’t necessarily mean just the physical act of sex here. I’m also talking about the many varying degrees of emotional and mental fear so many of us put forth into our sexual relationships and lives — myself included.

Whether it’s anxiety about the way our bodies look, trepidation over a traumatic sexual past event or a sincere fear of intimacy, so many of us interfere with our own potential as healthier sexual partners. …

I get that it can be hot.

I’m not sure about others, but the subject of porn and how it relates to relationships has always been something that fascinates me — mainly because I have so many of my own feelings about pornography.

I once wrote an article about porn expressing why so many women are uncomfortable with their partners watching it. In the article, I used feedback from women I know who are all across the board sexually. …

‘This moment is your life.’

‘Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.’ — Omar Khayyam.

Have you ever heard of or read the above quote before?

The first time I was exposed to this quote was in the 2002 movie, ‘Unfaithful’.

The movie depicted a housewife gone mad for a younger man who seduces her away from her husband and young son until she becomes completely obsessed with him and the affair at the expense of all else.

I loved the movie mainly for its stunningly uninhibited portrayal of a woman torn between her loyal and handsome husband and her much younger, sexually adventurous lover who completely swept her away. …

I was a good wife.

I was a good wife. A loyal wife. A wife who never cheated, a wife who never strayed, and a wife who absolutely tried her best to be a long-lasting partner.

Alas, all of these ‘angelic’ wifely qualities could not save me from what was at the root of it all — a severely damaged partnership. The marriage was sick at its core no matter how much love, care, concern, and compassion I attempted to infuse into it.

The poison always seemed to creep back in, much to my horror and astonishment. No matter how much I played nursemaid to this ailing marriage I could not cure it — certainly not by myself and certainly not on my own. …

Kink can be relative.

I wouldn’t consider myself to be a prude in the sex department but I also wouldn’t consider myself to be uber-experienced either.

I’ve had some hot and untamed sexual experiences — sure. And I’ve had a number of partners who have all been into different things sexually. I’ve had my fair share of compelling sexcapades as I’m sure the average reader reading this has had as well.

But how far have you or I traveled into the ‘kinky sex’ universe — really?

Compared to other people’s sexual stories and experiences I think I’m probably about average in the sexual kink realm. …

Assumptions will be made.

1. You’re A Homewrecker

Certainly, any woman who becomes a stepmother MUST have had something to do with the breakup of the previous relationship that produced the children she is stepparenting — right?

Not necessarily, no.

In fact, a great portion of women who became stepmothers did so long after their stepchildren’s biological parents split up.

There’s a common misconception out there that stepmothers somehow destroy harmonious relationships or marriages and break up families while, in reality, stepmothers are quite often inheriting the scattered pieces of an already broken relationship.

Though there are some stepmoms who do step into their role by means of an illicit affair and have indeed encroached upon a marriage, more often than not a stepmom arrives on the scene in the aftermath of a family that has already broken up. …

How do we know?

Significant, consequential, material, telling, pithy, weighty, valid, worthwhile, and purposeful are among the handful of synonyms for the term ‘meaningful’.

So what about sex? What determines if sex is meaningful? How do you know if YOU are having meaningful sex?

Pithy sex? Weighty sex? Have you ever thought of or described your own sexual experiences like that? Probably not, however, there’s no doubt that many of us are frequently attempting to place special meaning onto the sexual acts we engage in.

As humans, we tend to have this deep desire to place particular value on experiences — including sexual experiences.

But what does meaningful sex look like and feel like? …