My life changed for the better after that night.

(Source: Unsplash)

It still haunts me to this day.

Long ago, I was the other woman, the mistress, the villain. I’ve previously documented this experience and the lessons it taught me, but I never did disclose the details of what happened during the end of the affair.

It’s been many, many years since that drama unfolded into a finale of heartbreak, tears, and fury.

Probably the most haunting aspect of the affair itself was how it finally ended: by speaking to my lover’s wife on the phone. And she wanted details.

She found my number on her husband’s cell phone bill and…

Some things just can’t be known.

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In every relationship, there may be things we keep from our partners — whether it’s intentional or unintentional.

I believe this to not only be normal — but also to be an intriguing element of human nature.

To claim that your partner knows absolutely everything about you from head to toe or from your past before them would be quite a bold statement.

Although many of us pride ourselves on being honest, loyal, and true to our partners — it’s not realistic for a person to say they know all there is to know about their partner.

There are bound…

#Mwc Death

Lessons in finality.

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It’s convenient, at times, for any one of us to sit on a high horse of presumed enlightenment looking down at the mistakes of our past. It’s easy to say we’ve moved on from who we used to be when, in reality, that may not be the case at all.

The past holds our innocence and subsequent heartbreaks. It cradles our deepest insecurities from trying and failing or from loving and losing. These experiences are the building blocks of our humanity and our character.

One of my most popular and controversial articles to date — written over 2 years ago…

Does the early bird really catch the worm?

I’ve always disliked morning sex — and I’ve never quite understood why it’s “a thing" in general.

Bad morning breath alone is enough of a turn-off for me let alone stinky armpits and — stinky EVERYTHING.

My libido just isn’t there for me in the mornings. Never has been. It’s simply not awake or even close to raring to go until the afternoon or evening.

But within my marriage — this element of a sleepy libido has been an issue.

By the time my husband and I finally get in a bed — alone together — we’re absolutely exhausted. After…

“I’m really seeing a lot of butts, mom!”

Source: Jonathan Chng via Unsplash

I love watching the Olympics on TV just like so many other people around the world. When I was a young girl I loved it as well — especially women’s figure skating, gymnastics, swimming, and diving.

Imagine my absolute delight this year when my own daughter showed a keen interest in watching some of the Summer Olympic events with me. I was thrilled!

We started off with women’s gymnastics, which she was into herself for a while. As we watched the gymnasts perform in their usual skin-tight leotards with very little coverage on their backsides, I commented out loud that…

But we don’t always recognize it.

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When people talk about experiencing traumatic events that have scarred them mentally, emotionally, or even physically, we tend to think about veterans of war, victims of horrific crimes, or survivors of terrifying accidents.

Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. What many of us don’t realize, though, is that trauma can be much more insidious than we sometimes give it credit for.

Certain life experiences that have impacted us in a harmful and traumatic way can linger long after the experiences themselves have faded away.

PDTSS or post-divorce traumatic stress syndrome is something I have always referred…

A relationship conundrum.

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Here’s some relationship truth. My partner can turn almost anything I say into some sort of sexual innuendo. He does it all the time. It annoys the hell out of me.

My partner also seems to find any excuse to fondle me, kiss me, or suggest we ‘go upstairs’ at any given moment — usually at moments when we couldn’t possibly get away to do that.

I get it. He loves the idea of thinking about having spontaneous sex with me or sneaking away to do so.

Over the many years that we’ve been together, I have found myself irritated…

I try not to take these moments for granted.

Source: Niki Sanders via Unsplash

Marriage and long-term relationships can get monotonous. They can feel dreary. They can become cumbersome. These side effects of being with the same person for many years have long been established.

Yet — there are moments. Moments in my own marriage where I suddenly feel that undeniable itch to just grab my partner and ravage him.

Here are some of those moments…

When He Does The Dishes Without Me Asking.

I’m sure I’m not the only woman to see her partner doing the dishes without any sort of prompt who suddenly feels the need to pummel that person with passionate kisses.

When a partner does any sort of…

1. Stop Deciding You’re Not Worth It.

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Those of you who have experienced the heart-stomping, nerve-frying, spirit-breaking pain of a devastating break-up know exactly what that feels like. It’s brutal.

However, I’m not here to wallow in the agony of the suffering that was undoubtedly experienced by an apocalyptic break-up — no matter how tragically real that pain is.

I’m here to help turn that misery into a path forward — with 4 ways to forge ahead into the light of optimism in regards to relationships and away from the darkness of emotional desolation.

1. Stop Deciding You’re Not Worth It

No matter what happened to cause a nasty break-up, no matter who was…

Lessons learned from risky sexual behavior.

Source: Sinitta Leunen via Unsplash

I still remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was riding my bike one evening with the calm, tropical breeze tenderly kissing my face. I was with one of my good friends that night. We were happily night-biking on our island cruisers as we often did.

That’s when my ex-lover suddenly shot out of the darkness. His face was contorted into an angry scowl. He and my friend — whom he had always despised — started hurling insults at each other.

I had been seeing this man for several months until I realized how abusive he was. …

Michelle Brown

Creator & Editor of Heart Affairs, Self, Inspired, I, Mother & I, Stepmother. Subscribe to Medium & support me here

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